The Marrying Maiden
歸妹Gui Mei
No. 54 · Thunder over Lake
Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden)
A union entered on a rush of delight, with roles and standing out of place. Pushing forward is risky here; look at where this ends up in the long run.
Cast your own hexagramGui Mei (The Marrying Maiden) warns against rushing ahead on a momentary spark or a passing liking. When the role and standing are wrong, it is easy to come off worse. Think through how this plays out over the long haul before deciding.
Favorable
- Look at the long-term outcome
- Spell out roles and standing
- Do the supporting role well
- Take longer before saying yes
Avoid
- Rushing in on a spark
- Grabbing the lead out of turn
- Trusting spoken promises alone
- Leaving on a whim
Work and money
- Job search
- A job that looks great may not match what you pictured in title or responsibilities. Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden) warns against setting forth too soon: don't hand in your notice until you've asked about duties and probation terms.
- Business
- The Image of Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden) says to think of what lasts to the end and know where the flaws lie. Before going in, ask what could break over years. For partnerships and franchises, write the exit terms first and sign only after seeing the worst case.
- Money
- Avoid putting money in on a whim, especially investments or partnerships whose terms you haven't read closely. List the possible downsides first.
Love and people
- Single
- The Tuan speaks of moving out of delight: you can fall for someone fast, but the footing may be uneven. Find out whether they're actually single and willing to be open about it. If you still want this once the heat cools, keep going.
- In a relationship
- When one side keeps giving way and swallowing hurt, trouble builds. Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden) points to standing that is out of balance. Lay out chores, money and future plans now, instead of running on passion alone.
- Getting back together
- The odds are low, and even if you get back together, the old problems remain. The top line describes holding up an empty basket: if all you get are spoken promises with no real change, stop investing.
- People and partnerships
- In this collaboration you may play a supporting role. The first line of Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden) is lame yet able to walk: a lower position can still do good work, and a solid supporting role gets noticed. Don't try to grab the lead.
Daily life
- Exams and study
- The second line is blind in one eye yet able to see: a limited setup still lets you make progress. If you landed in a class or major that wasn't your first choice, quietly do the work in front of you before rushing to switch or drop out.
- Moving and travel
- Spur-of-the-moment moves and trips abroad are unfavorable; the Judgment's warning against setting forth is clearest here. Confirm housing, visas and work first. Booking a ticket on impulse and figuring it out as you go tends to backfire.
- Body and mind
- Moods swing in Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden), and it's easy to agree to too much when you're happy and crash afterward. Sleep on important replies, and protect your sleep first. If your body can't keep up, don't push through; see a doctor.
Traditional questions
- Something you are waiting for
- Later than expected, and the date may slip more than once; the fourth line speaks of a marriage past its appointed date. That isn't all bad. Until the terms are clear, it's better for this to arrive late.
- Disputes and lawsuits
- Unfavorable for you under Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden): your position on this may not be strong enough to stand on. Pushing harder only leaves you more on the back foot. Have a professional look at the terms, and settle if you can.
- Lost things and people
- The chances of getting it back are on the low side. Dui (Lake) is water and openings, Zhen (Thunder) is movement and main roads: check the sink, the bathroom basin, the mouth of your bag, a street corner you pass often, or the car. The direction leans west.
Making a decision
Hold off for now. Pushing ahead tends to go wrong; wait until the roles and terms are clear.
If you are…
Passion is carrying you along, yet you haven't even been through one big fight and how it ends. Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden) warns about rushing ahead before the roles are set. Talk through where to live, how to handle money and whether to have kids first; if that goes well, set a date.
A flood of orders is exciting, but when you can't produce enough, every deposit becomes pressure. Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden) asks you to see the end first. Work out how many you can make and how refunds work for delays; take fewer orders, since a good name outlasts one season.
This is the reading when no line is changing. With changing lines, Zhu Xi’s method says which line to read, and the result page after a casting tells you directly.
征凶，无攸利。
Setting forth brings misfortune. Nothing is favorable.
Thunder over Lake: Zhen (Thunder) above, Dui (Lake) below. Dui is the lake and the youngest daughter; Zhen is thunder and the eldest son. Thunder moves above the lake, and the youngest follows the eldest out of delight. So the hexagram is called Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden): a marriage into another household.
Nine at the beginning
歸妹以娣，跛能履，征吉。
The maiden marries as a secondary bride (a younger sister who goes along, ranking below the principal wife). Lame, yet able to walk. Setting forth brings good fortune.
You aren't the lead, and your position isn't high, say a deputy or an assistant. If you give real support and do your own part solidly, you can still move forward and be noticed.
Small Image: 歸妹以娣，以恆也。跛能履吉，相承也。
Nine in the second place
眇能視，利幽人之貞。
Blind in one eye, yet able to see. Steadfastness pays for one who lives in seclusion.
You have plenty to offer, but the people or setting you're paired with aren't a good fit, so you can't work at full strength. Keep your own sense of measure and work quietly; there is no need to force yourself to go along.
Small Image: 利幽人之貞，未變常也。
Six in the third place
歸妹以須，反歸以娣。
The maiden marries while still waiting (with no place yet; one reading takes the word as meaning a woman of low rank), and ends up going back to marry as a secondary bride.
You held out for a good position and it didn't come, so you end up accepting a lesser arrangement. Instead of dragging out the wait, look honestly at where you fall short, shore that up, and then negotiate.
Small Image: 歸妹以須，未當也。
Nine in the fourth place
歸妹愆期，遲歸有時。
The maiden's marriage passes its appointed date. Marrying late, she waits for the right time.
A wedding date, a contract or a job move has been pushed back, and that isn't necessarily bad. You don't want to say yes lightly; you'd rather wait for the right person or terms, and this waiting has its time.
Small Image: 愆期之志，有待而行也。
Six in the fifth place
帝乙歸妹，其君之袂，不如其娣之袂良，月幾望，吉。
King Di Yi (a Shang ruler) gives his younger sister in marriage. The sleeves of the principal bride are not as fine as the sleeves of the secondary bride. The moon is nearly full. Good fortune.
High standing doesn't need show to hold it up: a manager handing credit to the team, a low-key wedding. Put the weight on real character and care, and things tend to come round to a full circle.
Small Image: 帝乙歸妹，不如其娣之袂良也。其位在中，以貴行也。
Six at the top
女承筐无實，士刲羊无血，无攸利。
The woman holds up a basket with nothing in it; the man stabs a sheep but draws no blood. Nothing is favorable.
There seem to be promises and ceremony, but nothing inside, like a partner who keeps saying they'll sign and never does, or an engagement with no real commitment. Stop investing and first check whether anything of substance is there.
Small Image: 上六无實，承虛筐也。
歸妹，天地之大義也。天地不交，而萬物不興，歸妹人之終始也。說以動，所歸妹也。征凶，位不當也。无攸利，柔乘剛也。
Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden) is the great principle of heaven and earth. If heaven and earth do not meet, all things do not flourish. A maiden's marriage is the end and the beginning of human relations. Moving out of delight: it is a young maiden who is married. Setting forth brings misfortune because the positions are not appropriate. Nothing is favorable because the yielding rides on top of the firm.
The Image澤上有雷，歸妹；君子以永終知敝。
Thunder above the lake: this is Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden). The noble person, seeing this, thinks of what lasts to the very end and knows in advance where the flaws will lie.
The Sequence: why it comes here進必有所歸，故受之以歸妹。
Jian (Gradual Progress) means advancing, and advancing must lead somewhere to belong, just as marriage gives a person a home to belong to. So Jian is followed by Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden).
Miscellaneous Notes歸妹女之終也，未濟男之窮也。
Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden) marks the close of one stage of life: after marrying, there is a place to belong. The same line calls Wei Ji (Before Completion) a road that has run out; traditional commentaries explain this by every line of Wei Ji standing out of its proper place. One arrives home, the other runs out of road.
Related hexagramsFAQ
What does Gui Mei mean for love?
The Tuan speaks of moving out of delight: you can fall for someone fast, but the footing may be uneven. Find out whether they're actually single and willing to be open about it. If you still want this once the heat cools, keep going. When one side keeps giving way and swallowing hurt, trouble builds. Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden) points to standing that is out of balance. Lay out chores, money and future plans now, instead of running on passion alone.
What does Gui Mei mean for work?
A job that looks great may not match what you pictured in title or responsibilities. Gui Mei (The Marrying Maiden) warns against setting forth too soon: don't hand in your notice until you've asked about duties and probation terms. An offer that looks very tempting may come with an unclear title and scope. Don't rush to accept; get the terms and your role spelled out first.
With Gui Mei, will what I am waiting for come?
Later than expected, and the date may slip more than once; the fourth line speaks of a marriage past its appointed date. That isn't all bad. Until the terms are clear, it's better for this to arrive late.
With Gui Mei, will I find what I lost?
The chances of getting it back are on the low side. Dui (Lake) is water and openings, Zhen (Thunder) is movement and main roads: check the sink, the bathroom basin, the mouth of your bag, a street corner you pass often, or the car. The direction leans west.
A hexagram answers one question; your chart shows the whole of you and your year.
The classical text follows the standard edition of the Zhouyi. The plain readings are Xingge’s own, offered as a reference, not as the final word.